


continue to pretend

by Skullszeyes



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Demisexuality, Fluff, Friendship, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Protective Upgraded Connor | RK900, Romantic Friendship, Soft Gavin Reed, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Swearing, Touch-Starved, Touching, i like coffee so i added it, it is consensual afterwards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24053053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Gavin has complications with touch that Nines tries to help him with.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm one of those types of people who suck at writing romance. LOL. :/ I didn't want it to be such a big thing in this fic, and since I like touch-starved fics, I wanted to somewhat add it into this one...not to the extent that it has romantic stuff in it. LOL.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.

It was a strange feeling. He wouldn’t deny it. His hands tingled, arms feeling numb. He’d rub them just to stop it from happening, and then go on with his day. It’s been a natural thing for him for years, but for about a year now, he’s noticed a change. He isn’t really sure what it is, but now his heart races, and his face feels warmer at realizing where it’s coming from and by who.

Gavin rubbed the back of his neck while he stood outside, a cigarette between his fingers. He has an idea of why it is happening, but tries to brush it off as nothing. He wants it to be nothing, as time goes on, it’s becoming something more and he’s unable to ignore it like he had in the past.

“Detective.” The voice almost shocked Gavin and had him tensing as the android appeared to his left. Nines was taller with neat brown hair and pale skin, his gaze was steady upon Gavin, but his brows slightly furrowed at the sight of the cigarette between Gavin’s fingers. He seemed disappointed, but not surprised. “The reports have been sent, did you want to go for that coffee now?”

Gavin nodded sharply. His heart was racing, almost squeezing inside his chest. The proximity between them wasn’t as hostile as it had been in the past. Nines kept his hands behind his back, a step away from Gavin’s personal space. Everything was okay.

He followed Nines down the steps, and instead of getting into a car, they walked. It was nice out in the city of Detroit, and Gavin didn’t mind it all that much as he flicked his cigarette to the ground.

“Are you alright?” Nines asked, slowing down to match Gavin’s leisure pace. “You’re quieter than usual.”

“Usual,” Gavin said, almost thoughtful if it wasn’t tied with cynicism. “I’m fine, Nines, no need to worry about me.”

Nines tilted his head, and Gavin noticed the way his mouth parted, as if words were about to spill out, then he closed them. Rethinking his own response to Gavin’s was what Nines has been doing for awhile, a reoccurring pattern for the past few weeks.

Gavin clicked his tongue, glancing up at the sky.

“Gavin.” A hand reached out and grasped his arm, pulling him away from two men who were inches from bumping into him. They didn’t bother glancing at Gavin or Nines as they walked by. 

His heart was racing again, even though Nines had quickly let go of him as if Gavin was going to react like he has done in the past. Except, Gavin didn’t react as he would have. It was different. A strange sinking inevitability he could hardly ignore now that it has happened.

“Gavin.”

He stopped on the sidewalk as if he was the one malfunctioning, and maybe he was. It was difficult to even breathe, and when seconds ago the air had been cool on his skin, it was now unbearably warm under his jacket.

“I’m fine,” Gavin said, shaking his head and looking down at his shaky hands. “I need a fucking coffee.”

He moved, shoving his hands into his pockets, trying to ignore the feeling of the two men who had gotten close and Nines’ hand on his arm that wouldn’t leave him as it had before. Fade. Just fade away…

It wasn’t.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Nines asked, he had lowered his voice to the less commonly used tone to a more subtle comforting one he sometimes used when Gavin was bothered. When did he start noticing this change? When did he start caring?

Gavin narrowed his eyes into a glare, “I said I’m fine.”

“I’m just making sure…” Nines said. The way he adapted to Gavin’s temperament was almost unnerving, but this time, Gavin didn’t want to think besides walking to the coffee shop where Nines ordered his coffee, and they sit in a booth by the window.

It’s almost awkward. 

“I know you don’t like it when I touch you,” Nines says after a few minutes of silence between them. He looks somewhat small where he’s sitting across from Gavin. A steady look in his eyes, and always the tallest out of the two. He just seems softer, and it bothers Gavin that he notices this. “I didn’t mean to grab you like I did. I notice the way others touch you, besides your friends...like Tina and Chris, it’s completely normal for you, but for others—”

“It’s nothing,” Gavin said quickly, mouth dry, he picked up the cup and took a sip. This coffee shop was getting better at making their coffee, not as much as they had in the past, but at least there’s some kind of improvement.

“It’s not nothing,” Nines said, keeping his eyes on Gavin. “I’m sorry, that’s all.”

Gavin sighed, barely squeezing the cup then setting it down. “It _ is _ nothing, Nines. So what if I have a problem with people touching me, it has nothing to do with you or anyone else, or even strangers.” He rubbed his arm when he said this, glancing away, heart racing again as the same feeling of Nines’ hand stayed firmly on his skin, on his jacket, like some kind of imprint. “I’m not used to it. I never tried to get used to it. It’s nothing to worry about.”

What he isn’t telling Nines is that he wants to lean into people’s touch. It’s not something he wants to say he hates, it does bother him to a high extent. It’s almost as if someone is squeezing his skin, or hitting him. A quick instinct of moving out of people’s hold like someone stepping into your personal space. It’s unwelcomed, but this...the reaction of it gives him a different feeling when he’s close to others, unlike the aversion of strangers.

Once he’s finished his coffee, and he does comment mostly under his breath, and he does know that Nines heard, is that he liked his coffee a lot better than the coffee shops.

“Maybe we should stay at the office than going out,” Nines says.

“It is nice out,” Gavin comments, glancing up at the sky, and almost wanting to brush off the compliment altogether.

Once they’re at the office, the day goes by as it always has. Then something else shifts between them, and maybe Gavin should stop trying to hide it, but that thought barely scratches the surface to what he actually wants to say.

Nines almost runs into Gavin, and they both stopped right away. The gasp is hardly unheard between them, including the involuntary shudder at what was about to happen.

“Are you okay?” Nines asked, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean too.”

“It’s fine,” Gavin mutters, looking down at Nines’ hand almost reaching out to him, but it stills before going back to his side. He had gotten up too fast, moved in the wrong way, his body almost yearning while his mind went still at the single thought of what he wanted before he could fall into it.

“Gavin, are you sure you’re okay?”

Why is he always concerned about him? He has a hard time getting annoyed by the constant questions and examinations he seems to have whenever Nines looks over him, apparently inside and out.

“Stop...scanning me,” Gavin said, finally looking at Nines. “I’m fine. Everything is okay. I’m going home.”

It’s methodical. A sensation against his skin when he leans closer, and it’s as if Nines knows, and maybe he does and Gavin wants to continue to pretend that it’s all nonsensical. He has walls, he spent days and weeks and months speaking to those walls, as if he scrawled rules upon them with his blunt fingernails, hoping the blood makes sense to this android who speaks a different language as he reaches out to Gavin, and he finds, not a weakness in the hunger, in the deprivation that stabs him in the shriveled parts of his heart, but something open, alive, and raw.

“Fuck…” Gavin murmurs when Nines touches his arm, down to his wrist, to the skin where his pulse races against the confines. It speaks, screaming, wanting without Gavin needing to mouth the words. He should’ve known this was going to happen. That overtime someone was bound to say something, and Gavin did not want to say he wasn’t loved by his parents or the people who walk in and out of his life. He just didn’t bother trying to get close enough until now.

“It’s okay,” Nines said, taking a careful step closer while Gavin closes his eyes, trying to relax his heart, the impatience that runs with the curses he wants to proclaim upon a barrier not meant for others, at least until Nines decides to calmly pull them down as if it was some kind of secret between them.

_ I don’t know if it’s okay. _

“I have to go,” Gavin said, but he doesn’t move away from Nines.

“It doesn’t have to be all the time,” Nines whispered. They were still at work, and the realization of this almost startles Gavin, but Nines is caressing his wrist, and the feeling of it is strange, not as off as it was before, almost welcomed.

“Not all the time,” Gavin said, then he’s slowly pulling away.

Nines smiled, straightening slightly. He seemed pleased by this development as much as Gavin feels at loss. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gavin.”

He nods, walking by. “See you tomorrow, Nines."


	2. tender eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter did seem like it should continue, but I don't want to write something too long and then end up procrastinating, and currently I'm not ready to write something from D:BH (DE), I'm busy with other stuff, so maybe in the future or whatever, I might end up doing that, or maybe not. IDK. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.

How can an android have tender eyes? Gavin hardly wanted to know the real answer to this, but he found himself questioning it when he opened the door and found Nines standing in front of him. He was holding a steel mug in his hand.

“Good morning, Gavin.”

Gavin yawned. “What are you doing here?”

“Greeting you.”

His brows pinched before he turned and waved Nines inside. “I mean...why are you here? You don’t normally do this unless it’s urgent, and from the mug, it’s not.”

The door closed and Nines was standing as straight as he always does, looking odd in the corner of the room. “I thought that maybe we should change things around sometime, and I do retrieve you on certain days.”

“And you think I forget about work?” Gavin asked, sitting down on his couch while Nines finally stepped away from the corner and set the mug down on the table.

“No, of course not, you’re a workaholic.”

Today was a weekend, and Gavin usually slept in, but today wasn’t one of those days. He wanted to review some things with one of their cases, but he hadn’t thought Nines would show up around nine-ten in the morning, looking pleased of himself, although he always looked pleased.

Gavin hummed, sleep was still on the edge of his mind. He reached for the mug and opened it, and then he smelled it, closing his eyes at the rich aroma before recognizing what it was. Well, it was coffee, he knew that for sure. He wasn’t about to sit on his couch with his eyes closed at a mug of juice or something.

Gavin tensed, then he set the mug back on the table. “You made it.”

Nines blinked, hands behind his back. “Who else makes you coffee?”

He almost sighed at the barely sarcastic tone. Nines was obviously amused by Gavin’s reaction, both on realizing it was Nines who made the coffee and that he enjoyed the aroma right away. It was way too early for this.

“Why do you do this? Don’t you find it annoying?” Gavin asked, peering up at Nines, hoping for an answer with no inch of sarcasm. He was really not interested in an argument or even the annoyance that would end up winding itself inside his head for the rest of the day.

Nines glanced around the room then back at Gavin, and his lips curved, and it was as pleasant as he always seemed to be. “For you, not always, I don’t mind it all that much.”

Gavin stared at Nines for a second longer before reaching for the mug, then sitting back against the couch. He opened it, and inhaled the scent of coffee. He was not only addicted to work, and when the drink landed on his tongue and filled his mouth, it relaxed him right away.

“We should start work,” Gavin said, getting up, and walking into his room. When he returned, Nines was sitting on the couch, and Gavin sat right beside him. The proximity made him go still, and there was a sharp ringing in his head that made him realize what he had done.

Right, he forgot, it was awhile ago, but now he was only remembering the feeling of it. Things have changed, but this drastically sent a shiver along his spine. Yet it didn’t collapse the walls around him as it had done before, more like it was breathing instead of suffocating him.

Gavin swallowed, placed his laptop on the table, opened it and turned it on. And while they waited, he caught Nines watching him from the corner of his eye.

“Are you okay? Your heart elevated…”

He could hear something else, as if Nines wanted to continue what he was saying, as if there was more to it. Gavin almost wanted him to say it just to get it out.

“I’m fine,” he said, tense. Once the computer turned on, he looked for the files while Nines pulled out a tablet-like device, the touch screen was quite sensitive, and as they worked quietly, Gavin disliked the feeling that covered them in questions.

“Is there something bothering you?” Nines asked, eyes still on the tablet.

Gavin laughed nervously, annoyed the sound had escaped the way that it did. “Is there something bothering me?” he repeated sarcastically, brows furrowed as he glared at the computer screen and all the files that were displayed to him. “You couldn’t wait until Monday?”

Nines went still beside him. “I knew you would be working on it and figured that it would be good for the both of us to do it together since we’re partners.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, then he reached for the mug and their knees brushed, and unfortunately for him, he groaned.

“Gavin?”

“I’m fine,” he said, getting up and standing a foot away from Nines as he drank the coffee.

“You don’t seem  _ fine _ ,” Nines said, watching him from the couch.

These feelings aren’t going away, and it was way too early to deal with this. “I think we should get more coffee.”

“You’re deflecting,” Nines said, getting up from the couch. “And I know that you have coffee here, and if you want, I can just make you another—”

“Nines, it’s the morning, and I can’t deal with fighting with you at the moment,” Gavin said, tapping his fingers on the mug.

“We’re fighting?” he asked, arching a brow.

This was way too light of them. Usually when something truly pissed either of them off, there was much more heat. Gavin didn’t feel that heat, there was something else much more than just heat, it was warm and small, but growing, and he knew what it was and didn’t know the name of it.

He should figure it out while Nines is making his way towards Gavin who has no idea what to do with the empty mug in his hand. The taste of coffee in his mouth is divine as morning light, and it all came from Nines, and he’s glad that rage isn’t mixed in or he’d be tasting copper pennies, or droplets of blood, and that’s not a good taste, not when coffee is beautiful in the morning.

“Are you okay?”

“Thinking too much.” About coffee. It’s almost ridiculous, he wants to say he isn’t as addicted to coffee as most people think. He didn’t start out with the cappuccinos like his friends when he was a teenager, even though the taste was way too sweet and there was something else that was odd on his tongue until he got used to it. Like he had got used to a lot of things that were odd, less on his tongue, more on his mind and a lot more in his sight on a daily basis.

“Gavin…” Nines is reaching for him, and Gavin is staring at his hands, but the same old panic isn’t present as it had been before. He doesn’t feel as small, more prevalent in his stature while fingers glide against his before taking the mug away from him. “What are you thinking about?”

“Coffee…” Gavin can’t help but smile at his answer, at the ridiculousness of it that it also makes Nines smile before he set the mug down on the table beside the laptop.

“Anything else?” His hand is still on Gavin’s, and his fingers are gliding more along the knuckles, fingers curling, warm so damn warm that Gavin lets out a sigh, shoulders relaxing.

“I woke up way too early,” Gavin says, leaning into Nines, smiling at the way Nines’ left hand is on his arm, trailing to his shoulder, to the side of his face, tilting his chin up to examine Gavin’s face with a curiosity that Gavin is too aware of. “Quit scanning me, I’m okay, I just woke up too early.”

“I’m not scanning you,” Nines whispered, leaning closer, then their foreheads are touching and Gavin closes his eyes, thinking about the last time this happened and it wasn’t as intense, but he had been shaken with the need to reach out for that same feeling as if it was the only thing he needed in such a short amount of time. He had done his best to not relive it, but this was different, less of a flare up, more of a release.

He tried looking for the name, and when he opened his eyes to look into Nines, he knew right away what it was, and almost found himself annoyed he tried to deny it when it had first come to him after months of building up those walls that Nines seemed able to get through without much trouble.

Trust.

It looked exactly as he had thought when looking into tender eyes. The words weren’t enough, so he curled his fingers, allowing Nines to see what he sees, and know what he feels, to understand even if he did before Gavin could accept it.

Nines smiled, his skin around his hand had retracted, the room growing cooler by the second as they pulled away, fingers still touching, but the answer to their questions were there, plain as the morning light through the blinds.

“Do you want more coffee?” Nines asked, pleasantly.

Gavin rolled his eyes, a smile still pulled on the corner of his lips. “Yeah, I might need a few cups.”

“Not too much.”

“Depends, it’s not even ten Am.”

Nines picked up the mug, while Gavin grabbed for his tablet and they walked into the kitchen, going on about the case, the proximity not as far apart as it had been, the intensity was still there, alive, but welcomed.


End file.
